If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We had to coat check the pizza.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
