they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
