I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
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Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
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I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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