No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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