See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
