Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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