sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
