I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
