I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
