Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
