Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
