$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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