Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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