she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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