youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
