...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
