I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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