Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm jealous of your bromance
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
how drunk are you?
Several
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
