I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
