I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
