i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
