Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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