I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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