I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Everclear isn't food dammit
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
