Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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