I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't deserve a penis
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
