i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
