I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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