She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
