Soap is not a condiment
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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