Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
