Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
