Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
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