its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
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I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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