i just sent this text using only my big toe
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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