he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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