I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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