***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
