Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
