just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
