Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
