Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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