did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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