new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.