I want to make a zoo with you.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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