You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.