Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
