yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
