none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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