Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
