he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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