wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
