He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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