if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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