I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
