Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
