we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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