"it" just moved
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
