R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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