Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
