Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
