i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
