Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
