My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
