I will die if light touches me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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