Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
