You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
