I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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