garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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