eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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