Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
