mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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